HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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