It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
