I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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