Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
