She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize