the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
