I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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