After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize