My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
