So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
