I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
