I want to stick my p in your. b.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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