Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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