I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
