im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
