apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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