420 ftw
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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