new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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