I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
