hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
