Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So squirting runs in the family.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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