Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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