Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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