I hate your face
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
