i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
