Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
