My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize