Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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