U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
