No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Bring me that man meat
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize