She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
