VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
