jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
