Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
