Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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