I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
