Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I wear drunk well.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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