wrigley field is MILF paradise
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i was born a porn star she said
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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