loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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