my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize