It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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