too bad you live with your parents still
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
