Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
