that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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