I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
