with your own penis?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
