Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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