I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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