Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hippo gnu deer
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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