so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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