the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
