you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
