My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
