i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
