is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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