he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
