I feel great
I just peed on a car
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
