Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
