Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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