You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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