wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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