Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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