you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
