Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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