He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
the liver wants what the liver wants
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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