I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
People in love make me want to vomit
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
