How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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