there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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