I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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