HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
