party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
