I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How does it feel to date your dad?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
