It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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