Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize