Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
