One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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