Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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